Mornings in Mecca 

Fajr in Masjidil Haram, Mecca.

My mum said she was awoken at 3am one morning and from her window she could already see people walking to the mosque. Some people stayed quite a distance from the mosque, some even further they had to cab down. We were blessed in the sense that our hotel was about 10mins walk away. Nevertheless, the rewards of those who had to cover a larger distance just to pray in the blessed mosque, Allah knows best. When we reached the mosque compound many chose to settle outside the mosque. Some waiting, others already praying. May I always remember this.
  الصلاة خير من النوم
“Assalatu khayrum minan naum”
Prayer is better than sleep  

That were I to feel lazy or “too tired”, I remember this sight. It’s said that you need a good and personally convincing reason to wake up early and I believe this is it for us, aside from getting work done etc. The lovers of Allah swt and Rasulullah ﷺ will come. Run, walk, crawl. Regardless, they will still rise. Rise for Allah. Of themselves and their lower desires they put aside and Allah swt and Rasulullah ﷺ first. May Allah swt ease our struggles so we can be the best servants of Him, amin!

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For all the yearning hearts

Tonight I pray for all the yearning hearts
I tear for all the souls who would give anything to be in the Prophet’s mosque, to send salaam to him ﷺ
It is an indescribable happiness, just the first sight of Masjid Nabawi. To send your first salaam to him, as if he’s just right there, smiling at you and returning your salaam. When they said to feel his presence as I went about my day, I made myself aware and I did to the best I could. Ya Rasulullah, how much we miss you. How much we want to be in your presence. How much we would want to see your beautiful face.

I’ve returned from umrah alhamdulillah less than a week ago and I’ve never missed a place so, so much. In fact, two places. The blessed lands of Mecca and Medina. My heart is bursting at its seams. Especially after thinking about the lovers of Rasulullah who’ve yet set their feet on the Prophet’s mosque. So much love, so much longing. I’ve yet to properly sat down and pen my thoughts and reflections but for now, I’m thankful for this feeling of love. I never quite understood how exactly it is to love someone you’ve never met. I envy those whose love for him ﷺ shows and emanates through their being, who just the mention of him  brings tears to their eyes. I think I’m beginning to understand what it’s like, slowly. May this be an opening of openings. Of love, wisdom, understanding, faith. May Allah make us among those whose love for the Prophet ﷺ supersede the rest of creations and make us among those who constantly send salawat upon him ﷺ 💚💚💚

May all of us be invited to Mecca & Medina to visit Rasulullah  again and again, and whilst waiting be granted beautiful patience, amin! 

You see their happiness. MashaAllah. And you praise Allah for only He, the Greatest One could make it happen. And indeed He, too, is the Best Provider. You smiled to yourself and realised, He can give happiness to you too. In so many ways. Maybe similar, in other forms, perhaps soon or maybe later. Trust. His timing is always perfect. So pray for them and feel your heart expand. You’re loving for His sake. Not an utter of word to them but pleas and hopes raised to the Most High. And the Angels respond with ameen for you too. Oh and don’t forget to look around and look close. Don’t you have enough already to make you full of gratitude? Look within, and up. Is Allah not enough for you? ❤

Why I Miss Work 

I had planned to leave earlier
But due to circumstances it was brought to a delay
I don’t quite remember when I had started practicing something that became the thing I miss most about work
Work was a crazy mix of routine, anxiety, uncertainty, overwhelm
I don’t despise the job for I had grown a lot through it
It wasn’t entirely all that bad
But if you have been through a situation similar like mine
You’d understand when you just knew you didn’t belong there
You’d understand the dread of pushing yourself to leave home for work every single day
You’d understand the dilemma between staying comfortable where you are but stagnant, your days like a plateau
And the scary and uncertain changes you want to make for your own good
And so as I passed by the basement level of the shopping mall to work everyday
In my heart I uttered the reasons why I’m heading where I was headed to
To seek good and halal rizq
To fill my time with goodness
To increase myself in knowledge
To enrich my experiences
To be more patient, to be more patient, to be more patient
Yes I repeated that three times
These were the primary things that kept me going
And the reason why I always strived to be a better worker every day
Despite the occasional(sometimes debilitating) mistakes made
I will always remember the little joy of patients’ greetings
And I want to be able to do that again
And that’s why I miss work
So if you’re reading this and you’re currently holding a job, full-time or part-time, you got a good thing right there
There’ll always be people who wish to be in your situation
But we’re where we are supposed to be right now for a reason
And situations change, things change and eventually we’ll keep up with the tide
But meanwhile, keep renewing your intentions
For all that you do.

Syafakallah 

I stared long at the sentence
It’s one thing to read a caption off a picture as it is but it’s another when you know the context, the reason behind it
My very dear friend’s mother has been battling with leukemia for quite some time
For certain it has been a toiling time for her and family
As the eldest child I’m sure she’s tried to maintain a strong front
But her unseen tears and sadness, only Allah knows
I pray for her and family everyday
For their strength, patience, perseverance and unwavering faith in Him
He does not burden a soul greater than his or her capability
Allah loves us and He tests us in different ways

My dear friend, remember that every day that you leave home for work you are indeed supporting your family, being of service to your parents and family
And I’m sure they are proud of you
Don’t ever think any of it will go to waste, as long as you do what you do for His sake
So much daily rewards mashaAllah
My dear friend, remember that for every sweat and unending exhaustion you feel fulfilling your responsibilities at the same time hoping and praying for the recovery of your beloved mother, Allah knows. Allah sees it all. Allah hears.
Allah is raising your status for your patience inshaAllah, so keep going. Truly, beautiful things await the patient ones 💕 so keep on living and loving, keep on praying, keep on believing 🌹

And this is the caption, “Beautiful things await those who serve their parents patiently, who work diligently to support them, and place their trust and love in Allah completely”.

May Allah swt grant syifa’ to all those in sickness and may He ease their difficulties for none cures but Him and nothing is difficult what He makes easy.

How Allah reminds us through others. And when you look back at your own family, it’s overwhelming. There’s SO much to work on. You think you’re good but how good are you really considering how you are as a daughter? As a sister? It all begins and ends with the family they say. What good is it if you’re praised and admired outside but the real you at home is in dissonance with that? How then will you truly attain peace? Allah covers our faults such that we look good to others but truly, how are we really?

Quran Journaling (QJ) #1: Gratitude

Bismillah. I’m starting on a new journey that is Quran journaling 📖 It is something I’ve been wanting do especially after being inspired by sister Ayesha Shahira‘s Quran tagging journey & sister Humairah of The Light Journal. Do check them out! Anyways, it made me think back on my relationship with the Quran. I mean, how can I forge a close relationship with Allah without living by His words? I feel bad for bookmarking multiple verses of the Quran in an app but never really got back to it. The journal will mostly be on my personal reflections of the verses. May it be of benefit, insyaAllah. And, please feel free to share your own thoughts on it if you do have. We’re all still learning and we can learn from one another. At the end of the day, what do His words mean to us?

~~~

To elaborate on the gratitude journal, this is something I’ve personally practiced since early this year and it has helped me greatly in terms of my mental health, my mood etc, alhamdulillah. I’ve been using this app Gratitude Journal for Android. I’m pretty sure there are more out there. I particularly like this one because we are required to enter things we are grateful for, for the day and then click on a button that says “Yes I am grateful”. So you can enter as many as you like. In a way, this is great as a positive reinforcement 🙂

Another point to mention is that it’s not just about the good or pleasant things that we should remember to be grateful for. In fact, it’s everything. You don’t have to list them all, maybe start with 3 things every day. Experiment with it and see what works best for you.

Practising gratitude will not solve all problems but it’s a great tool for growth and a way to earn Allah’s love, sometimes even leaving us overwhelmed with the countless bounties He’s blessed us with.

How can we express our gratitude? More than just words, it’s our actions. We can do so by taking advantage of them. Of our life, our health, our wealth, our free time and our youth.

Regarding the next verse, as mentioned in Tafsir ibn Kathir, Allah swt doesn’t need the gratitude of His servants, and He is worthy of all praise even if the disbelievers disbelieve in Him. For He is Al-Ghaniy. This reminds me of how very dependent we are on Him and that we must not be shy or arrogant in always turning to Him in our affairs, no matter big or small. Always make it a point to converse with Him.

I think I get it now when they say “Be yourself”.

When I don’t give the moment its due
Regret fills the heart as much as I hate to face it
Then I realise the thing that I wanted to do, not the one that I was supposed to, wasn’t that worth it afterall
Time and again I’m taught the lesson that
At times you need to put yourself aside
And do what the moments ask of you
And that
Doing something with expectations that a person will appreciate and reciprocate
Will leave you wondering why did you even bother in the first place 
Why don’t I just be me
Appreciating people quietly
Being present quietly
Acheiving quietly
Not needing to show or wanting any kind of external or rather extra validation from people who, perhaps, don’t really care?

*So I’ve learnt to accept that most people don’t really care. About what you do. What you eat. Where you’re at. What books you’re reading. Those who do are a few and they will all be the ones that truly matter.
Because they’re human they won’t always be there
But no doubt you will know the real and sincere ones (and may we be among those too)

And I figure
I’ve always been a private person
Only on this platform do I feel safe to share my thoughts and feelings
I don’t share with close friends or family as much as I do here
And I think that’s good
At least for me
And this is me
And I don’t have to be like her, or her or them
I’ll just be me

Whatever you do, regardless
Don’t do it for the people
Search deep in your heart before you set out on something
Plant the right intentions and make them firm
Remind and keep reminding yourself to hold onto that
For their pleasure of for His?