Because His signs are all around.

As you continue to traverse in life,
Hope you will keep this in mind
Remember that humbling moment when you were travelling by sea.

Looking up to the vastness of the skies Always be in awe, never despair of yourself, your life and His Mercy

Remember the strong waves that caused the ferry to trudge and then stall for a while
Instilling a sudden fear in you, reminding you of those mentioned in the Quran who only remembered Him in danger but then forget and commit injustice when they are safe (10:22)

Remember too the turbulence while in the air, thousands of metres above ground level
The sea, the winds, the waves not forgetting the bumpy roads and the unpredictable traffic and motorists
The transport is only the means

You’ll never know for sure if you will reach your destination safely
Make us among the grateful ones, who remembers You and are grateful to You, be it on the seas, in the air or on land.


Heartfelt Conversations

Imagine carrying a life inside you for several months
Only to have to come to terms with the fact that one day
The little one’s heartbeat has stopped
The little one that you had wished so much to see, embrace and raise has returned to his Creator

Just had a conversation with mum in the cab about my late second brother, women’s challenging and excruciating pain of labour and post-labour. Ya Allah. I got all sad and tearful when she said this is the reason why we as children cannot ever be ungrateful and disrespectful to our parents and our mothers especially. May Allah swt forgive us. It’s said that you will better appreciate your mother when you become a mother/father yourself. I don’t want to wait till I become a mother till I appreciate her better, how would I guarantee that I will meet that day?

Also, mum told me about how everyone’s tested in one way or another. It can be that Allah tests a woman with her children if not her husband if not her in-laws if not her husband’s siblings and the likes. You get it. Same goes for the menfolk. Basically, we should actually expect to be tested. Whatever that we’re put to, we can pull through. Maybe it all it takes sometimes is a little bit more acceptance, patience, positive thinking, and lots of faith. Easier said than done but it’s something that bears frequent repeating as a reminder. That we may always strive hard to be the best for His sake. Amin.


Felt the cold air on my feet
Cool, cool breeze
Seems like weather is a lot like life
So while it lasts, cherish
Same goes for many aspects of it
Our circumstances, thoughts, emotions, opinions, our own selves
Are far from static
And as long as we’re traversing here in this world
We will be just that, travellers
This place is temporary too
And while we’re still staying
Remember that change is inevitable
And the only constant- is Him

What I Wished I’d Said: “Me time”

Had dinner with my friends and 2 of them who are married shared some marriage stories and advices. I’ve got to mention this one advice especially, and that is to really cherish the time that us singles still have to ourselves now aka “me time”.

As usual my introvert brain was busy listening and processing thus I didn’t say much in return so it was just my facial expression and body language that showed I was listening. I really was. But to think back over the conversation, I wish I had said this. Something alone these lines.

If couples were like what’s one of the best thing that happened to them the past year, they’d be like pointing to one another. But me? Myself! Yas! Hahaha. I’ve never loved solitude more than I did the past year. I’ve been learning the art of self-love. I learn to be comfortable with myself, with the silence. In a noisy world with information overload it’s necessary to just plug out and turn off the wifi for a while. I go days without opening instagram and my inner peace is at its best. I read, reflect, write, do things intentionally, de-clutter better, I learn what is it that I want.

Quitting my job last year paved a way for much “free time” especially in between school assignments and after exams. And I never get bored, thankfully. I learn my tendency towards certain bad habits and I also finally got to know how I study best. I eat in public by myself sometimes and don’t look at my phone while eating. I go to some classes/talks alone. I don’t know about guys but most ladies I know would usually prefer a girl friend to go do things/go places with and this was and sometimes still the case for me but I’ve learnt that I need to live alone sometimes. We won’t always have a friend. And that means deciding for myself, going to places alone and doing things alone, as nerve-wrecking as it may be at times. 

But alone time and silence is not always rosy. Some days are harder with loneliness kicking in, triggers of past pain haunting, whispers of the shaytan, when my self-dialogue is akin to myself becoming my worst enemy, squandering time away on social media etc. If I don’t control myself I’d get myself knee-deep in wreck. Alhamdulillah, strength is ultimately from Him.

I learnt how to organise my intentions from Aida Azlin and sorted them out into different categories in a notes app, spent hours writing and editing my blog entries and started  Quran journaling, made a list of criteria/ideal characteristics of my future spouse. Above all, solitude is important. And it’s not just because I’m an introvert and I need to recharge my batteries. Also, even if I were to marry(insyaAllah), a bit of me time is essential so that it helps me to be the best wife. Sorry not sorry eh. But with kids a bit hard? Haha. Maybe I’ll learn other ways to cope. Allah knows best. And so “me time” is really just the blessings of solitude that we need to reap the benefits from, insyaAllah. To learn, to experiment, to be creative, to be still, to make time for our Creator.

Ok, you’re too kind if you’re still reading this. Guess there’s a reason why some people simply express themselves better through writing than in speech :p 

And we all ache.

Sadness has not left me
Took some words to bring forth an understanding
Intertwined with memories
To finally understand the root cause of the long-time misery

Don’t ignore the things that trigger you. Your thoughts and emotions. If you’ve always wondered why, there is a reason why. Why you tend to behave a certain way, why this particular habit you can’t seem to shake. You need to first identify and tackle it head on. For no one but yourself. Sit down with yourself. Away from everything. Listen close. It may take time but take your time. When you feel that things start to make sense you might have just cried. It’s hard. But it’s a blessing, to understand. Self-awareness is a gift. Yet it can get pretty tough when you’re too hard on yourself.

If you’re struggling with healing from trauma, forgiveness, attachments, self-worth, loneliness, the author of this blog is with you too. Even if you don’t identify with the struggles above, you aren’t alone too. We all need to know this, that we’re not alone. What’s done is done and we can’t undo the past. What’s important now is our intention and commitment in identifying the broken parts, undergo the healing process and continued mission of learning about and bettering ourselves and making peace by finding the wisdom behind it. There’s wisdom behind every pain. Please don’t ignore yours. You ARE important. So choose yourself.

In our journey of healing and growing, support is vital. Find a trusted friend or family member but if that’s hard do consider counselling. It might just be what you need to help you see things clearer. Our minds can be our greatest enemy especially when we’re down. And please remember, you will not be tested with more than you can shoulder. Remember that you matter and you are absolutely worthy of every ounce of goodness and love.

An article that you may want to read, and that which is part of the inspiration behind this blog entry is here.


I stared long at the sentence
It’s one thing to read a caption off a picture as it is but it’s another when you know the context, the reason behind it
My very dear friend’s mother has been battling with leukemia for quite some time
For certain it has been a toiling time for her and family
As the eldest child I’m sure she’s tried to maintain a strong front
But her unseen tears and sadness, only Allah knows
I pray for her and family everyday
For their strength, patience, perseverance and unwavering faith in Him
He does not burden a soul greater than his or her capability
Allah loves us and He tests us in different ways

My dear friend, remember that every day that you leave home for work you are indeed supporting your family, being of service to your parents and family
And I’m sure they are proud of you
Don’t ever think any of it will go to waste, as long as you do what you do for His sake
So much daily rewards mashaAllah
My dear friend, remember that for every sweat and unending exhaustion you feel fulfilling your responsibilities at the same time hoping and praying for the recovery of your beloved mother, Allah knows. Allah sees it all. Allah hears.
Allah is raising your status for your patience inshaAllah, so keep going. Truly, beautiful things await the patient ones 💕 so keep on living and loving, keep on praying, keep on believing 🌹

And this is the caption, “Beautiful things await those who serve their parents patiently, who work diligently to support them, and place their trust and love in Allah completely”.

May Allah swt grant syifa’ to all those in sickness and may He ease their difficulties for none cures but Him and nothing is difficult what He makes easy.

How Allah reminds us through others. And when you look back at your own family, it’s overwhelming. There’s SO much to work on. You think you’re good but how good are you really considering how you are as a daughter? As a sister? It all begins and ends with the family they say. What good is it if you’re praised and admired outside but the real you at home is in dissonance with that? How then will you truly attain peace? Allah covers our faults such that we look good to others but truly, how are we really?

An October Weekend & Reminders 

Had a pretty packed weekend. And some reminders and reflections, may it be of benefit!

Empower yourself with knowledge. Seek knowledge and always be learning even if you may have to travel a little bit far. Renew your intentions. At the same time, remind yourself that it’s always adab first before knowledge. Keep a check on yourself and your heart. Istighfar always for our sins are so plenty we’ve no time to criticise or judge others.

Get a hold of yourself when you start to think ill of someone.
By the way, I’m not sure if you know about this peeling gel in the market. It gets rid of your dead skin cells, whiteheads etc. I recently used it and it’s so good. Your face would feel so so clean afterwards and I can’t help but think, if only it is this easy to cleanse our hearts eh 💔 Guess this is our jihad then. Our ongoing struggle and fight to continously cleanse our hearts and better our character.

People will disappoint you, time and time again. Plans will not go as planned. Don’t dwell on it. It may be that you dislike it but it’s good for you. Move on.

Nothing is quite as attractive as a passionate person. Someone may be average-looking to the majority but I personally find that if he or she speaks and exudes positivity and love through what he or she does and believe in, that’s truly beautiful. Through a mental health training I attended yesterday, I saw some really passionate, knowledgeable and sincere doctor, counsellors, caregivers. So much love/passion/enthusiasm, so much life. Inspiring alhamdulillah.

Wanted to attend a talk on manners by al-Maghrib but I only got to know about it on the event day so it was too late. The day after, a dear friend shared with me her notes! How did she know?? Allah knows. And Allah send these beautiful souls. Allah suprises us in beautiful ways, we just have to notice..

What you focus on, expands.

If you’re reading this, may Allah swt ease your affairs and may you have a blessed week ahead 🙂