“Belum jumpe”

A few days ago my elder brother moved into his house. Perhaps in that spirit a cousin of mine asked me, “So Syiidah, bila? Dah jumpa calon?” (When? Have you met your potential mate?) To which I replied not yet and the above phrase. It got me thinking though how while I was honest, but at the same time my vision was kinda narrow. So..

Maybe I’ve met you
Maybe not
I don’t get anything from over-thinking if we’ve crossed paths
Let’s pray He protect and guide the both of us
Till a time for a union He knows best

On that note, I think we have to be open to that which we seek. Thoughts?

Also, at least now when someone asks me a similar question I can say “Maybe?” 😬


What I Wished I’d Said: “Me time”

Had dinner with my friends and 2 of them who are married shared some marriage stories and advices. I’ve got to mention this one advice especially, and that is to really cherish the time that us singles still have to ourselves now aka “me time”.

As usual my introvert brain was busy listening and processing thus I didn’t say much in return so it was just my facial expression and body language that showed I was listening. I really was. But to think back over the conversation, I wish I had said this. Something alone these lines.

If couples were like what’s one of the best thing that happened to them the past year, they’d be like pointing to one another. But me? Myself! Yas! Hahaha. I’ve never loved solitude more than I did the past year. I’ve been learning the art of self-love. I learn to be comfortable with myself, with the silence. In a noisy world with information overload it’s necessary to just plug out and turn off the wifi for a while. I go days without opening instagram and my inner peace is at its best. I read, reflect, write, do things intentionally, de-clutter better, I learn what is it that I want.

Quitting my job last year paved a way for much “free time” especially in between school assignments and after exams. And I never get bored, thankfully. I learn my tendency towards certain bad habits and I also finally got to know how I study best. I eat in public by myself sometimes and don’t look at my phone while eating. I go to some classes/talks alone. I don’t know about guys but most ladies I know would usually prefer a girl friend to go do things/go places with and this was and sometimes still the case for me but I’ve learnt that I need to live alone sometimes. We won’t always have a friend. And that means deciding for myself, going to places alone and doing things alone, as nerve-wrecking as it may be at times. 

But alone time and silence is not always rosy. Some days are harder with loneliness kicking in, triggers of past pain haunting, whispers of the shaytan, when my self-dialogue is akin to myself becoming my worst enemy, squandering time away on social media etc. If I don’t control myself I’d get myself knee-deep in wreck. Alhamdulillah, strength is ultimately from Him.

I learnt how to organise my intentions from Aida Azlin and sorted them out into different categories in a notes app, spent hours writing and editing my blog entries and started  Quran journaling, made a list of criteria/ideal characteristics of my future spouse. Above all, solitude is important. And it’s not just because I’m an introvert and I need to recharge my batteries. Also, even if I were to marry(insyaAllah), a bit of me time is essential so that it helps me to be the best wife. Sorry not sorry eh. But with kids a bit hard? Haha. Maybe I’ll learn other ways to cope. Allah knows best. And so “me time” is really just the blessings of solitude that we need to reap the benefits from, insyaAllah. To learn, to experiment, to be creative, to be still, to make time for our Creator.

Ok, you’re too kind if you’re still reading this. Guess there’s a reason why some people simply express themselves better through writing than in speech :p 

For all the yearning hearts

Tonight I pray for all the yearning hearts
I tear for all the souls who would give anything to be in the Prophet’s mosque, to send salaam to him ﷺ
It is an indescribable happiness, just the first sight of Masjid Nabawi. To send your first salaam to him, as if he’s just right there, smiling at you and returning your salaam. When they said to feel his presence as I went about my day, I made myself aware and I did to the best I could. Ya Rasulullah, how much we miss you. How much we want to be in your presence. How much we would want to see your beautiful face.

I’ve returned from umrah alhamdulillah less than a week ago and I’ve never missed a place so, so much. In fact, two places. The blessed lands of Mecca and Medina. My heart is bursting at its seams. Especially after thinking about the lovers of Rasulullah who’ve yet set their feet on the Prophet’s mosque. So much love, so much longing. I’ve yet to properly sat down and pen my thoughts and reflections but for now, I’m thankful for this feeling of love. I never quite understood how exactly it is to love someone you’ve never met. I envy those whose love for him ﷺ shows and emanates through their being, who just the mention of him  brings tears to their eyes. I think I’m beginning to understand what it’s like, slowly. May this be an opening of openings. Of love, wisdom, understanding, faith. May Allah make us among those whose love for the Prophet ﷺ supersede the rest of creations and make us among those who constantly send salawat upon him ﷺ 💚💚💚

May all of us be invited to Mecca & Medina to visit Rasulullah  again and again, and whilst waiting be granted beautiful patience, amin! 

An October Weekend & Reminders 

Had a pretty packed weekend. And some reminders and reflections, may it be of benefit!

Empower yourself with knowledge. Seek knowledge and always be learning even if you may have to travel a little bit far. Renew your intentions. At the same time, remind yourself that it’s always adab first before knowledge. Keep a check on yourself and your heart. Istighfar always for our sins are so plenty we’ve no time to criticise or judge others.

Get a hold of yourself when you start to think ill of someone.
By the way, I’m not sure if you know about this peeling gel in the market. It gets rid of your dead skin cells, whiteheads etc. I recently used it and it’s so good. Your face would feel so so clean afterwards and I can’t help but think, if only it is this easy to cleanse our hearts eh 💔 Guess this is our jihad then. Our ongoing struggle and fight to continously cleanse our hearts and better our character.

People will disappoint you, time and time again. Plans will not go as planned. Don’t dwell on it. It may be that you dislike it but it’s good for you. Move on.

Nothing is quite as attractive as a passionate person. Someone may be average-looking to the majority but I personally find that if he or she speaks and exudes positivity and love through what he or she does and believe in, that’s truly beautiful. Through a mental health training I attended yesterday, I saw some really passionate, knowledgeable and sincere doctor, counsellors, caregivers. So much love/passion/enthusiasm, so much life. Inspiring alhamdulillah.

Wanted to attend a talk on manners by al-Maghrib but I only got to know about it on the event day so it was too late. The day after, a dear friend shared with me her notes! How did she know?? Allah knows. And Allah send these beautiful souls. Allah suprises us in beautiful ways, we just have to notice..

What you focus on, expands.

If you’re reading this, may Allah swt ease your affairs and may you have a blessed week ahead 🙂

Dear Hopeful Singleton 🌹

Throwback to last Sat’s session with the amazing ladies, Aida Azlin & Ustazah Liyana Musfirah. Below are my takeaways, may it be of benefit! 

Ustazah Liyana:

Know yourself

Who am I first?
Servant of Allah
Follower of Prophet pbuh
Khalifah fil ardh. Our words and actions equally preaching Islam
Daughter to your parents
Sister to your siblings

Hijrah: to a better me, to a better single version of myself

Doa when looking at yourself in the mirror

Polish your mind, body & soul and heart with knowledge and experience

We’re so blessed in the sense that we’ve got the time and space to work on our relationship with Allah swt

Aida Azlin:

Things I tell my single myself
🌸To be grateful for whatever Allah places you right now
Think about all the other aspects that Allah is taking care of for you now

🌸Cultivate an Optimistic mindset while waiting
Remind yourself
Be happy for those who gets married. Allah got their backs like He’s got yours

🌸Get to know the 3 VVIPs
*Marrying doesn’t solve all your problems
Prophet Muhammad saw.
Yourself. Just think of 3 things you love about yourself.
You can’t have someone else in your life till you’re rock solid about yourself.
What is self-worthiness to you? Knowing that you’re deserving of the best because you’re created by the best Allah swt
Seek what’s best for you. The best company, the best experiences, you know you deserve nothing less than the best.

When you have self-worthiness you stop looking to other people to give you happiness.
This man is just gonna complement you not add you or subtract from you. You’re whole by yourself💕

Self worthiness is yours for the taking.
no one can give it you or take it from you.

You are capable of being the best
To be the best at what you do is a form of dakwah

🌸All states are temporary so don’t allow yourself to get too sad or too happy.

Waiting may not be fun but it is necessary.
The worship is in the waiting
The strengthening is in the waiting
The closeness to Allah is in the waiting
Waiting is part and parcel of life. Good things come to those who wait. This is dunya. Remember Allah got your back.

2 types of single person
First is the one who sits around and don’t really do anything to find the one. Complain only lol.
Second is the one makes the effort. Go out and meet people, seek help from parents/elders/friends. Make plenty of dua and lots of tawakkal. Like AA and Ustazah Liyana’s personal stories.
So which one are you? Not to say that marriage is a goal. It’s just a means. Like Aida said, you will somehow ‘know’ when you’re ready so if you really are then make the effort and dua + tawakkal. Otherwise, keep working on yourself and be of service to others and who knows along the way you just might meet the one😉