Below will be just about a verse of the Quran that one of the speakers, Dr Halima Boukerracha touched on. Amazing how we can get so much just from this one verse on the story of Prophet Musa AS, Firaun and his wife Asiyah RA.
وَقَالَتِ ٱمْرَأَتُ فِرْعَوْنَ قُرَّتُ عَيْنٍ لِّى وَلَكَۖ لَا تَقْتُلُوهُ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَنفَعَنَآ أَوْ نَتَّخِذَهُو وَلَدًا وَهُمْ لَا يَشْعُرُونَ
And the wife of Pharaoh said, “[He will be] a comfort of the eye for me and for you. Do not kill him; perhaps he may benefit us, or we may adopt him as a son.” And they perceived not.
Based on the verse, we’re able to extract some lessons.
First, Firaun’s wife, Asiyah RA, understood Firaun’s personality. She didn’t plan to convince him that he is wrong- especially for someone who claims he is God. Second, she made use of positive language. She could’ve said “Are you mad? What in the world are you thinking? You can’t kill that baby!” you know, something along those lines. Just imagine Firaun’s response if she said that. But she didn’t. Third, she explained the benefit of her argument. Lastly, she understood the needs and weaknesses of her husband and she addressed it. Asiyah and Firaun didn’t have sons, only daughters. She is so intelligent masyaAllah. What do we learn from this? The importance of learning negotiation and conflict resolution skills. Also to understand the personalities of those around us. Not just for marriage but for our communication with others.
Plus, the faith of Asiyah didn’t budge despite how her husband is, well, Firaun. She didn’t see it as an excuse. Another woman might have just given up and saw no point in fulfilling her mission to Allah and think, “How can I and what’s the point if I’ve a husband like him?”. Makes me think back to all the married couples. Look no further, our parents aren’t perfect too. But their imperfections don’t stop them from doing their best in fulfilling their rights as spouses to one another and as a servant to Allah. For singletons including myself, I’m sure we want a good partner right but we cannot expect him or her to be perfect even though he or she seems perfect (ok maybe just early stages? haha). Because we will live with them and see through all their strengths and weaknesses. And we’re all just human. We ourselves aren’t perfect anyway.
Dr Halima also mentioned how a successful marriage survives because a couple invest in their similarities AND manage their differences well. This is an especially important reminder, time and time again, for myself first, because marriage extends wayyy beyond the beautiful insta-worthy pictures that makes it seem like a whole lot of sweet loving goodness that we’re missing out on. It’s really more than just the wedding. It’s a lifelong commitment. There’s plenty to learn prior to marriage, maybe on top of attending a marriage course, pre-marital counselling might be good too? To address certain issues. Even after marriage, the learning continues. What more with children and all. May we be always willing and stay committed to learn and improve on ourselves, married or not. Because at the end of the day, the only relationship that lasts is our relationship with Him.