Dear Hopeful Singleton 🌹

Throwback to last Sat’s session with the amazing ladies above, Aida Azlin & Ustazah Liyana Musfirah. Below are my takeaways, may it be of benefit! 

Ustazah Liyana:

Know yourself

Who am I first?
Servant of Allah
Follower of Prophet pbuh
Khalifah fil ardh. Our words and actions equally preaching Islam
Daughter to your parents
Sister to your siblings

Hijrah: to a better me, to a better single version of myself

Doa when looking at yourself in the mirror

Polish your mind, body & soul and heart with knowledge and experience

We’re so blessed in the sense that we’ve got the time and space to work on our relationship with Allah swt

Aida Azlin:

Things I tell my single myself
🌸To be grateful for whatever Allah places you right now
Think about all the other aspects that Allah is taking care of for you now

🌸Cultivate an Optimistic mindset while waiting
Remind yourself
Be happy for those who gets married. Allah got their backs like He’s got yours

🌸Get to know the 3 VVIPs
*Marrying doesn’t solve all your problems
Allah.
Prophet Muhammad saw.
Yourself. Just think of 3 things you love about yourself.
You can’t have someone else in your life till you’re rock solid about yourself.
What is self-worthiness to you? Knowing that you’re deserving of the best because you’re created by the best Allah swt
Seek what’s best for you. The best company, the best experiences, you know you deserve nothing less than the best.

When you have self-worthiness you stop looking to other people to give you happiness.
This man is just gonna complement you not add you or subtract from you. You’re whole by yourself💕

Self worthiness is yours for the taking.
no one can give it you or take it from you.

You are capable of being the best
To be the best at what you do is a form of dakwah

🌸All states are temporary so don’t allow yourself to get too sad or too happy.

Waiting may not be fun but it is necessary.
The worship is in the waiting
The strengthening is in the waiting
The closeness to Allah is in the waiting
Waiting is part and parcel of life. Good things come to those who wait. This is dunya. Remember Allah got your back.

2 types of single person
First is the one who sits around and don’t really do anything to find the one. Complain only lol.
Second is the one makes the effort. Go out and meet people, seek help from parents/elders/friends. Make plenty of dua and lots of tawakkal. Like AA and Ustazah Liyana’s personal stories.
So which one are you? Not to say that marriage is a goal. It’s just a means. Like Aida said, you will somehow ‘know’ when you’re ready so if you really are then make the effort and dua + tawakkal. Otherwise, keep working on yourself and be of service to others and who knows along the way you just might meet the one😉

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You know how you look at some people and think to yourself this one just has it all together. You can’t help to think, she/he is so fine/so smart/so kind/so pretty/so fortunate/so mashaAllah and the list goes on, what could possibly go wrong in his/her life? She/he seems so well-off how could she be in a position of pain or to even talk about pain? For one, perception. What they show builds your perception. And what you don’t actually see? So much.

Second, you’re not the only going through some pain/struggle. Other people are too. Even ‘them’. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. So don’t feel bad about yourself. Or don’t feel bad about yourself for not being “brave” or “vulnerable” enough to share your pain/story on social media etc. What may be easy for some may be challenging for you. And vice versa. So don’t put yourself down by undermining yourself or whatever you’re going through. The pain you feel is VALID. Your struggles are VALID. Even if no one knows them. Coz you’ve got Allah. We’ve got Allah.

At the same time, learn to share with worthy others.
Remember, you don’t have to share with everyone to feel validated or to feel Heard. Some share with their best friends but for me I’ve no particular ‘best friend’ because I don’t believe in that term. I do have a couple of close/good/special friends I can trust insyaAllah. And may I always remember that. That I do matter. I am worthy of much love. And you are, too. 🌹💕

On Deadlines & Saying No

Earlier in the evening today I just realised I had missed the deadline for a small part of my school assignment by 2 days! Imagine my shock and denial. I had read through the whole assignment but had truly missed the deadline for the first part. Alhamdulillah I set myself on it tonight and I managed to get it done even though it’s super-late. I emailed my tutor too in hopes he will pardon me and give me a pass, at least. I really hope!

But I shan’t dwell on it too much, as it was a genuine mistake and there’s no point being too upset over it. It’s not the worst that can happen and I still have the chance to make it right for the second part of the assignment- the thousand word essay. 

And I hope to always remember this. That I may make mistakes sometimes but what’s important is what I do about it. That I will own up to it, try my best to make it right, learn from it and pray to Allah to ease my affairs. 

May Allah ease. And I can do this. 

Also, it dawned on me that I have two essay assignments due within several days which brought me to say no. No to supposed plans over the weekend and my plan to finish doing up the cards for a small project for some sisters. It kinda sucks because you wish you can do them all but this is it, a lesson for me ultimately from Allah. To prioritise and choose wisely and make sure I can allocate my all to all that I intend to do. 

You Matter 

Mood: making my voice heard in my own way 
An instagram story of words, yet it’s me voicing my thoughts, projecting them out to the world

It’s a big deal to me, really

When I find myself engaging in comparison going down the downward spiral of “and then there’s me”

Stop, don’t do this to yourself. You need to control these negative thoughts, don’t let them get to you.

You’re better than this, stronger than this.

Yes I’m still figuring it out, to each and everyone their own battles
You either know because people share or you don’t because people keep it away from the public eye

And same goes with you too darling

Realising that where I am and where I want to be is a gap
Doesn’t mean I’m not making progress

Going back to the instagram story
Yes I have my own thoughts and opinions too
And they matter
Absolutely
I’m free to share them as long as it’s within the limits

I matter.

I am enough.

You are Enough.

“Regardless of who we are, how we were raised or what we believe, all of us fight hidden, silent battles against not being good enough, not having enough and not belonging enough. When we find the courage to share our experiences and the compassion to hear others tell their stories, we force shame out of hiding, and end the silence.”
– Brenè Brown

May our days ahead be of courage and strength, insyaAllah.