Why I Miss Work 

I had planned to leave earlier
But due to circumstances it was brought to a delay
I don’t quite remember when I had started practicing something that became the thing I miss most about work
Work was a crazy mix of routine, anxiety, uncertainty, overwhelm
I don’t despise the job for I had grown a lot through it
It wasn’t entirely all that bad
But if you have been through a situation similar like mine
You’d understand when you just knew you didn’t belong there
You’d understand the dread of pushing yourself to leave home for work every single day
You’d understand the dilemma between staying comfortable where you are but stagnant, your days like a plateau
And the scary and uncertain changes you want to make for your own good
And so as I passed by the basement level of the shopping mall to work everyday
In my heart I uttered the reasons why I’m heading where I was headed to
To seek good and halal rizq
To fill my time with goodness
To increase myself in knowledge
To enrich my experiences
To be more patient, to be more patient, to be more patient
Yes I repeated that three times
These were the primary things that kept me going
And the reason why I always strived to be a better worker every day
Despite the occasional(sometimes debilitating) mistakes made
I will always remember the little joy of patients’ greetings
And I want to be able to do that again
And that’s why I miss work
So if you’re reading this and you’re currently holding a job, full-time or part-time, you got a good thing right there
There’ll always be people who wish to be in your situation
But we’re where we are supposed to be right now for a reason
And situations change, things change and eventually we’ll keep up with the tide
But meanwhile, keep renewing your intentions
For all that you do.

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Syafakallah 

I stared long at the sentence
It’s one thing to read a caption off a picture as it is but it’s another when you know the context, the reason behind it
My very dear friend’s mother has been battling with leukemia for quite some time
For certain it has been a toiling time for her and family
As the eldest child I’m sure she’s tried to maintain a strong front
But her unseen tears and sadness, only Allah knows
I pray for her and family everyday
For their strength, patience, perseverance and unwavering faith in Him
He does not burden a soul greater than his or her capability
Allah loves us and He tests us in different ways

My dear friend, remember that every day that you leave home for work you are indeed supporting your family, being of service to your parents and family
And I’m sure they are proud of you
Don’t ever think any of it will go to waste, as long as you do what you do for His sake
So much daily rewards mashaAllah
My dear friend, remember that for every sweat and unending exhaustion you feel fulfilling your responsibilities at the same time hoping and praying for the recovery of your beloved mother, Allah knows. Allah sees it all. Allah hears.
Allah is raising your status for your patience inshaAllah, so keep going. Truly, beautiful things await the patient ones 💕 so keep on living and loving, keep on praying, keep on believing 🌹

And this is the caption, “Beautiful things await those who serve their parents patiently, who work diligently to support them, and place their trust and love in Allah completely”.

May Allah swt grant syifa’ to all those in sickness and may He ease their difficulties for none cures but Him and nothing is difficult what He makes easy.

How Allah reminds us through others. And when you look back at your own family, it’s overwhelming. There’s SO much to work on. You think you’re good but how good are you really considering how you are as a daughter? As a sister? It all begins and ends with the family they say. What good is it if you’re praised and admired outside but the real you at home is in dissonance with that? How then will you truly attain peace? Allah covers our faults such that we look good to others but truly, how are we really?

An October Weekend & Reminders 

Had a pretty packed weekend. And some reminders and reflections, may it be of benefit!

Empower yourself with knowledge. Seek knowledge and always be learning even if you may have to travel a little bit far. Renew your intentions. At the same time, remind yourself that it’s always adab first before knowledge. Keep a check on yourself and your heart. Istighfar always for our sins are so plenty we’ve no time to criticise or judge others.

Get a hold of yourself when you start to think ill of someone.
By the way, I’m not sure if you know about this peeling gel in the market. It gets rid of your dead skin cells, whiteheads etc. I recently used it and it’s so good. Your face would feel so so clean afterwards and I can’t help but think, if only it is this easy to cleanse our hearts eh 💔 Guess this is our jihad then. Our ongoing struggle and fight to continously cleanse our hearts and better our character.

People will disappoint you, time and time again. Plans will not go as planned. Don’t dwell on it. It may be that you dislike it but it’s good for you. Move on.

Nothing is quite as attractive as a passionate person. Someone may be average-looking to the majority but I personally find that if he or she speaks and exudes positivity and love through what he or she does and believe in, that’s truly beautiful. Through a mental health training I attended yesterday, I saw some really passionate, knowledgeable and sincere doctor, counsellors, caregivers. So much love/passion/enthusiasm, so much life. Inspiring alhamdulillah.

Wanted to attend a talk on manners by al-Maghrib but I only got to know about it on the event day so it was too late. The day after, a dear friend shared with me her notes! How did she know?? Allah knows. And Allah send these beautiful souls. Allah suprises us in beautiful ways, we just have to notice..

What you focus on, expands.

If you’re reading this, may Allah swt ease your affairs and may you have a blessed week ahead 🙂

Let go.

Let go. Let go of the need to be correct. Let go of the need to protect your ego. Let go of your assumptions of others which may very well be untrue. Let go of the victim mindset trap. Let go of your expectation that people should act and behave as how they should do to you. Remember it’s not always about you. Sometimes it’s their problem and it’s nothing personal. Well, maybe I’m right about my presumptions after all. Maybe I do feel the need to prove my point because I cannot bear to admit my own mistake. But my heart is so much more precious than all that and I need to protect it. Protect it from growing seeds of suspicion, animosity etc.

I’m reminded of the quote by Omar Suleiman that goes something like I’d rather come on the day of judgement having thought good of an evil person rather than thinking that a good person is evil. We may be wrong with our assumptions but it doesn’t hurt to at least try and make an excuse for them.. Whatever it is.

To work on your heart start with these seemingly small things that are, indeed huge. #heartwork 

The best things in life are sometimes..

Unexpected and/or spontaneous. So if you have a sudden thought or idea or opportunity before you, don’t just let it slide! Pursue it!

Last week, I went to Coney Island with my ex-colleagues just by planning a few days before when we have actually planned for several months when I was still working there but we never get to do it. As impromptu as it was, it was great alhamdulillah. And this is a big thing for me, for someone who’s big on prior planning and the need for details.

A few days ago, I met up with Nabs and we went to have a ‘picnic’ at guess where, the carpark rooftop. And I had my first successful attempt at skateboarding as much as I never expected/planned to do it. Turns out I absolutely loved the new experiences hehe.

You know how you look at some people and think to yourself this one just has it all together. You can’t help to think, she/he is so fine/so smart/so kind/so pretty/so fortunate/so mashaAllah and the list goes on, what could possibly go wrong in his/her life? She/he seems so well-off how could she be in a position of pain or to even talk about pain? For one, perception. What they show builds your perception. And what you don’t actually see? So much.

Second, you’re not the only going through some pain/struggle. Other people are too. Even ‘them’. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. So don’t feel bad about yourself. Or don’t feel bad about yourself for not being “brave” or “vulnerable” enough to share your pain/story on social media etc. What may be easy for some may be challenging for you. And vice versa. So don’t put yourself down by undermining yourself or whatever you’re going through. The pain you feel is VALID. Your struggles are VALID. Even if no one knows them. Coz you’ve got Allah. We’ve got Allah.

At the same time, learn to share with worthy others.
Remember, you don’t have to share with everyone to feel validated or to feel Heard. Some share with their best friends but for me I’ve no particular ‘best friend’ because I don’t believe in that term. I do have a couple of close/good/special friends I can trust insyaAllah. And may I always remember that. That I do matter. I am worthy of much love. And you are, too. 🌹💕

Hijab & A Sister 

You see she takes it off
But you don’t know why she did
As painful as it is
This is not the time for you
To mention rulings
If it’s possible, ask
Understand
Don’t judge
Yes it’s wrong, and you should, deep down in your heart hate the act
Not her
But be mindful of your words
If you can’t say anything good then hush
Pray for her
Advice, if you need
But never, impose
Be gentle and careful with your words
For not only will be heavy on the receiver but also on the scales of the Day of Judgement
Seek to understand, and love
Always
💟