I Met TheTudungTraveller :)

​I did the bravest thing in a long time today, alhamdulillah.

Came up and talked to this lovely sister whom I look up to. Even though I don’t know her personally but I have been following her writings on Instagram and her blog. (Pictures aren’t an accurate representations of people’s lives but their writings do a give a great glimpse on their thoughts, worldview, priorities, character etc.)

I love how she’s just so beautifully honest and wise in her writings on life, love, pain, self-improvement and many more. In one way or another, I can totally relate. Her everyday endeavors are inspirational too. May Allah swt bless and increase you in goodness and taqwa, dear kak. Hope to see you again soon insyaAllah 😘 (Do find her on ig: @thetudungtraveller! )

You Matter 

Mood: making my voice heard in my own way 
An instagram story of words, yet it’s me voicing my thoughts, projecting them out to the world

It’s a big deal to me, really

When I find myself engaging in comparison going down the downward spiral of “and then there’s me”

Stop, don’t do this to yourself. You need to control these negative thoughts, don’t let them get to you.

You’re better than this, stronger than this.

Yes I’m still figuring it out, to each and everyone their own battles
You either know because people share or you don’t because people keep it away from the public eye

And same goes with you too darling

Realising that where I am and where I want to be is a gap
Doesn’t mean I’m not making progress

Going back to the instagram story
Yes I have my own thoughts and opinions too
And they matter
Absolutely
I’m free to share them as long as it’s within the limits

I matter.

I am enough.

Qadr Allahu wa Masha Fa’al

which means: Allah has decreed it and what He willed has happened
A phrase I first heard, spoken by an ustaz who was the moderator for the talk with Mufti Ustaz Fatris & Habib Ali Zaenal Abidin few weeks ago. He was referring to how it’s not easy to bring the both of them together yet the Qadr of Allah made it easy.
And so I was reminded of the phrase few days ago when I had a bout of mild food poisoning. Terrible, definitely. I couldn’t make it for kak Huda’s walimah and intuitively I sort of knew I couldn’t make it for the KL trip the next morning. True enough.

I had been looking forward to it all week, plans to go to the book fair and buy lotsa books, buy dresses and hijabs, explore the place, the food, basically a wind-down before I start prepping for my exams.

And I’ll end with this.

Grateful still,
For my ever-loving mum who cares for me in every inch possible
Despite her exhaustion
Decided to change her half-day work to today so she could cook for me
For my dad and little brother who cares too in their own ways
For a caring friend as well
Count your blessings
Always
If you think you’ve had it real rough
Know that it could’ve been worse
None of it will go to waste
An expiation of sins insyaAllah
Just be patient
Don’t complain
A lesson too
To teach you.

Rants.

i do seriously want to have real and honest conversations 

how to when the atmosphere is always of constant caution and anxiety
i dont want to gossip
but that’s what they like to do
how do i keep up
when i ask in honesty
but i was not treated seriously
.

why is it
i either say too little
or share too much
when i do share and the other person doesn’t pick up on it
when it’s actually something very important to me
or something i thought twice thrice before saying
and it just goes unattended to
a part of me dies a little inside

#rant #thisislife #justsmallstruggles #keeponmovingandworking 

On Prayers, Departure & Ambition 

Death,
Will we ever be ready, truly?

We prayed the jenazah prayer for my late great grandmother today
Prayer upon prayer
Our hands to the skies
We ask of Him
For the one lying in front of us
Forgiveness, mercy

I can’t help but wonder
How will it be when our turn is up?

What will the people remember of me?
Will they pray for me?
Will I be a person such that I deserve His Love and Mercy?

The answer is up to me

Our mind is a blessing
And a responsibility
So when I decided today
What do I want to be?
A good person.

“Aku nak jadi orang yang baik”.
Camne nak jadi orang baik? Buat baik.
Teringat kata-kata Mufti Ustaz Fatris, macam-macam  perkara baik yang kita boleh lakukan. Sedangkan mengetepikan perkara di jalanan yang boleh jadi halangan untuk orang lain adalah sebahagian dari iman..
Jangan remehkan perkara ‘kecil’. Tak kira baik atau buruk. Sebab dua-dua ade kesannye kepada kita, tak termasuk dosa atau pahala kerana mungkin jugak orang lain yang terjejas.

A simple sentence yet holds so much weight and meaning.
May Allah swt ease.

You are Enough.

“Regardless of who we are, how we were raised or what we believe, all of us fight hidden, silent battles against not being good enough, not having enough and not belonging enough. When we find the courage to share our experiences and the compassion to hear others tell their stories, we force shame out of hiding, and end the silence.”
– Brenè Brown

May our days ahead be of courage and strength, insyaAllah.

Here and Now

Darling don’t you dwell on your worries
Remember you always have a choice
Choose what to focus on
Search for and keep positive vibes and gratitude close
Finding answers and knowledge will be a journey
So don’t rush
Relax
Focus now and make time for all that matters
And the rest, is just clutter.